


Ma Chatte (on Twitter!)

by utouchmycookie



Series: Peter May Parker SWM (Stark Wilson Murdock, Spider-Woman) [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And Irondad, Dadpool Really, Domestic, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Fluff, Female Peter Parker, Fluff, Happy Ending, Harry Osborn calling celeb stalkers on their shit, Invasion of Privacy, Large Billy Goat Gruff is Wade, Medium Billy Goat Gruff is Matt, Oiseau le Chatton - Freeform, Privacy is Important, Romantic Fluff, Smallest Billy Goat Gruff is Peter, The Troll is Literally All of the Bad Guys, There May Be References To Sex, There is Deadpool, Three Billy Goats Gruff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Twitter, also, only happiness here, some foul language, this is my headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26500033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/utouchmycookie/pseuds/utouchmycookie
Summary: EmjAY @MyJam@hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM I have cavities now, thanks. Love the bird cat thoNeeds Led @nlGITC@hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM You guys are perfect for each other, I’m so happy for you!!!Flash @FlashMobForSpidey@PMParkerSWM What the fuck are you talking about?!Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name @PMParkerSWM@FlashMobForSpidey 😊
Relationships: Franklin "Foggy" Nelson & Peter Parker, Harry Osborn/Peter Parker, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker & Wade Wilson, Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Series: Peter May Parker SWM (Stark Wilson Murdock, Spider-Woman) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970851
Comments: 17
Kudos: 202





	1. Le Chatton

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first Twitter fic! I know that every post starts by Harry Osborn, and that wasn't planned originally, but that's how it turned out...  
> I wanted to get on the trope train, but I wanted something different, and let's be honest: tropes happen because people like them, and like everybody's different take. Let me know what you think, or don't. I'm not going to be out here soliciting kudos and comments, because I won't be promising to

**H. Osborn** _@hosbornofficial_ ☑

You guys are always all over my love life, so I figured you should at least get the picture of how cute _ma chatton_ is before the media eats her alive. #LeChattonDeHOsborn #HerNameIsOiseau #OiseauLeChatton

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

 _@hosbornofficial_ you had us, dude. We thought you were gonna show us your girl!!!

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Credit to my photographer, _@PMParkerSWM_ , who also named our daughter, Oiseau (for reasons I continue to not understand). You could do so much better than me in every way, _ma chatte_ ♥🥰😍😻

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

 _@hosbornofficial_ No, I don’t think I could. I like the picture and I love you (and our daughter ♥)

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

 _@hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM_ I have cavities now, thanks. Love the bird cat tho

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

 _@hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM_ You guys are perfect for each other, I’m so happy for you!!!

**Flash** _@FlashMobForSpidey_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ What the fuck are you talking about?!

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

 _@FlashMobForSpidey_ 😊

* * *

 **H.** **Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Ily so much. _@FlashMobForSpidey_ Leave my girl alone or I’ll kick your ass, if she stays too sweet to do it for me, because we all know she’s a whole lot sweeter and tougher than me.

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@hosbornofficial_ as long as you know it. _@PMParkerSWM_ love you kid, glad you are happy and my new grandkitten is adorable.

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@hosbornofficial_ I suppose credit must be given for this, but I’m watching you. _@FlashMobForSpidey_ I’m watching you even closer, that’s my protégée 

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

About time people start treating my girl the way she deserves

* * *

 **BuzzFeed** _@BuzzFeed_ ☑

Following Ms. Pepper Potts (@ _CEOofSIVPPotts_ ) announced a Press Conference earlier this week, with an unknown topic. Shortly after, Tony Stark ( _@TheTonyStark_ ) was on Twitter, commenting on the newest post by Harry Osborn (@ _hosbornofficial_ ) about Osborn’s girlfriend (@ _PMParkerSWM_ ) and their kitten, where Stark came off with strong Protective Dad Vibes for his “protégée” and Best Grandpa Vibes for his “grandkitten”. Is it a coincidence? We think not! Check out our article on it here: [ _https://www.buzzfeed.com/_ … ](https://www.buzzfeed.com/%E2%80%A6)

* * *

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

I know you guys want to be creepy stalkers of _ma chatte_ , but like... She is the photographer of us. That picture of Oiseau was her doing. But bc I love you guys, here we go again. May I present _ma chatte_ _@PMParkerSWM_ :

**In Love With All The Harry’s** _@ImmaMarryAHarry_

Oof. Paparazzi, gossip, Internet, celeb stalkers. We are getting called the fuck out and played my peeps and it is entirely fair bc we want to harass this girl for finding love and family with billionaires.

**imalesbian** _@lesbihonest_

I WANT ONE @ _hosbornofficial_

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ checking up on our crying baby (who just wants love from Mommy, btw)

**Jazzy** _@BluebellJazz_

Seriously though, all us girl lovers out here are in love with your boo, @ _hosbornofficial_

**Mike** **Wasowski** @ _MichaelEBurnz_

@ _hosbornofficial_ I need my future girl to be as attentive of a mom as yours.

**EmjAY** @ _MyJam_

@ _MichaelEBurnz_ that isn’t sexist or something.

**Marcos** @ _iLiveWithHOsborn_

Omg @ _PMParkerSWM_ you are so perfect I am going to cry so much when you leave 😭😭😭 @ _hosbornofficial_ , I am going to miss all these wonderful years with you.

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

@ _iLiveWithHOsborn_ I will cry too; you’ll have to come see us in NY!!!

**Marcos** @ _iLiveWithHOsborn_

@ _PMParkerSWM_ how are you so much better than Harry?! That boy better cling for dear life.


	2. À Paris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pictures from Paris 😁. This one is short though, I promise they get longer.

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

It’s our last day in Paris before we go back to New York for the summer. My beautiful girl, @ _PMParkerSWM_ got this beautiful photo of us

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

MY BABY ALL GROWN UP WHY NO NOT ALLOWED @ _PMParkerSWM_ 😭😭😭

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

Beautiful young woman, all grown up; so glad you gave us the opportunity to know you growing up @ _PMParkerSWM_

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

I decided to hack him and show all of you wonderful followers his beautiful art. A bit embarrassed that this was inspired by me and my photography, but I love this man. - @ _PMParkerSWM_

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

We stan a man who draws his girl, but I have to know @ _PMParkerSWM_ , does he ever draw your face

**Marcos** @ _iLiveWithHOsborn_

 _@kendra.zzzs_ I will answer this, but know that @ _PMParkerSWM_ definitely saw but doesn’t know. Harry refuses to draw her because he couldn’t do her justice. I asked him this very question once, and the crying involved cheese and chocolate at two in the morning

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

@ _iLiveWithHOsborn_ BETRAYAL

**h9f83j9** @ _k3j9-jdfv0_

How cute :)

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

Thank you Nat!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the shortest chapter, the others are longer.


	3. Explorez l'Europe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before they head home for NY, Peter has to see Europe, and Deadpool gets involved...

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Taking a trip before we head home to New York; my girl _@PMParkerSWM_ is looking amazing in London.

**May Parker** _@MayParkerFromQueens_

My pretty little girl! _@PMParkerSWM_ , a horrible thing brought you to me, but I hope you always know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are more my daughter than my niece and it was my pleasure to raise you 🥰🥰🥰

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

_@MayParkerFromQueens_ I’m crying again, but I love you so much too; you are more my mom than my aunt, thank you for everything you’ve done for me over the years. 

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Today’s event: admiring a world centuries older than the one we grew up in. London is almost as pretty as _@PMParkerSWM_

**Mike Wasowski** @ _M_ _ichaelEBurnz_

@ _hosbornofficial_ shes prob prettier with a face. Fine ass tho

**In Love With All The Harry’s** _@ImmaMarryAHarry_

@ _MichaelEBurnz_ could you be anymore disgusting???

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

@ _MichaelEBurnz_ how about you just fuck the fuckity fuck off and let people have their right to privacy

**Jazzy** _@BluebellJazz_

@ _MichaelEBurnz_ bitch, please. Get your sexist ass the fuck away from an innocent girl

**imalesbian** _@lesbihonest_

@ _MichaelEBurnz_ you want to know what’s wrong with the world?! This. you can barely see her backside and he still has to comment immediately about what he dislikes about her - ignoring her inherent rights - and giving useless and creepy “compliments” about an oversexualized part of her body she can’t control. why does it have to be extreme to be wrong?! 

**Marcos** @ _iLiveWithHOsborn_

@ _MichaelEBurnz_ \- in the words above, FUCK OFF; _@ImmaMarryAHarry @kendra.zzzs_ _@BluebellJazz @lesbihonest_ thank you, we stan you and make a shrine to you in our Christian Minecraft Server, in hopes you will have our crops watered and acne cleared

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

RT

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

@ _iLiveWithHOsborn @hosbornofficial_ What acne? That is the blessing of hanging out with Harry’s boo - she’s so sweet that your dreams come true.

* * *

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Sorry, _#Milan #Italy_ , you are gorgeous, but. Yeah, I think she might just win.

**Giuseppe Sala** @ _giuseppesala10_

@ _hosbornofficial_ Probabilmente hai ragione.

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

@ _hosbornofficial @_ _giuseppesala10_ Decisamente.

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

The great outdoors of Venice, Italy. _La vista è bellissima_ . _#Venice #Italy_

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

@ _hosbornofficial_ you dare put this mush on my feed?

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

 _@hosbornofficial_ I need more of this mush on my feed!

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

@ _MyJam @nlGITC_ 2 categories of folks

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

@ _HelloKittyLuvMe_ I want to correct you but you’re Deadpool and I’m also more confused about why you care so much about Harry Osborn’s gf

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

I fully admit I forgot where this picture was taken because I was a bit distracted...

**Mike Wasowski** @ _MichaelEBurnz_

_@hosbornofficial_ yo girl in a dress that white do it for you?

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

 _@MichaelEBurnz_ How about you fuck off?

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

@ _MichaelEBurnz_ You made @ _nlGITC_ say the naughty word on the Internet, you fucking messed up, Bro

 **Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

_@MyJam_ That “Bro” scares me. So last night was a virtual girls night?

**KB** _@OKBThatWay_

😊

**Jazzy** _@BluebellJazz_

How does this have the same face but completely different vibes than Harry’s Girlfriend responding to @ _FlashMobForSpidey_?!?

**KB** _@OKBThatWay_

😊

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

😊

**imalesbian** _@lesbihonest_

I love girls so much

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

@ _lesbihonest_ Girls don’t deserve your love, but I love you too.

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

It doesn’t matter if it’s uncomfortable, _@PMParkerSWM_ is going to get through the good part of her book.

**Bookworm** _@thebookiestofwormmms_

How did you get this picture of me?

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

@ _PMParkerSWM_ I know you are like stupid bendy, but honey, think of how much your back will hurt in the future.

**In Love With All The Harry’s** _@ImmaMarryAHarry_

I am LIVING for this _#IronDad_ content

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

It’s our last night in Europe, and you all seem to have gotten it into your heads that _ma chatte_ is perfectly innocent, so here is something a bit more risqué.

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

When you see something stunning but also weird??? Idk what to do about this, bc id want to like put down this beautiful young woman who is old and strong enough to make her own choices, but also, like… Harry? Osborn? Needs? To? Keep? His? Hands? Off? Her? Bc? She? Is? Babey?

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

RT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up? Back to New York City for Fall and the stanning of women who are strong business women.


	4. De Retour à la Maison à New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are back in New York for the Fall, y'all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes about this story:  
> \- I knew I wanted to do a Twitter fic  
> \- I knew that I wanted to do a Fem!Peter pic  
> \- I knew that if I did, I would not change Peter's name and no, I do not know why I always do this when I write genderbends (btw 97% of my works are in my notes. 1% is published here on Archive. .5% is published on Wattpad. 1.5% was on Wattpad but was marked as copyright by some asshole, and I was too upset to try and get it back, which I am really upset about still.)  
> \- I do not reflect the opinions of my characters  
> \- I decided to search the pictures, and then I found more pictures, and then I suddenly had 35 pictures. I named the pictures. Then I put them in an order. Somehow these pictures mostly ended up being of "Peter" from Harry's perspective, not showing her face. From there I just have a vague outline of what Harry is posting and I am making up the responses (or just not bothering because it is a lot of work and I don't know what to say) as I go.  
> \- The chapters are mostly shorter from here  
> \- I am sorry about the correctness in the Tweeting. I know people don't actually Tweet like that (except me), but like. It is really annoying and I am assuming that the majority of the people I am writing are geniuses and therefore type like I do. Not to call myself a genius, but to say that English hounded into your head, years spent writing as a hubby, and reading constantly do not make me a person who does not capitalize or use some punctuation in typing. Also, there is auto-capitalization so I do not understand how that does no affect people's typing??? 
> 
> It is my canon in this fic that:  
> \- Ned introduced himself to Peter bc he had a crush on her, they went out on a date, tried dating, they were not compatible and stopped dating almost immediately, but stayed BFFs bc Peter was lonely and Ned is a great guy and Peter is a wonderful girl and awesome friend  
> \- Flash had a crush on her but was jealous as fuck  
> \- MJ and Peter had mutual crushes and also dated, but it, again, did not work out  
> \- Peter attended a lower-end Elementary and Middle School in Flushing. She applied to private school Midtown Tech for high school and earned the two highest amount scholarships offered, which were essentially the Highest Entrance Exam Score and Lowest Income Student, but they have fancier names.  
> \- Midtown Tech has an Elementary and Middle School for talented (and RICH) STEM students, primarily those who are children of famous (and RICH) academics.  
> \- The OsCorp trip that had the spider bite also alienated the brand new top of her class student who has to take a bus an hour to her new school and has no friends because she transferred and was of a different socioeconomic class was further alienated when Norman Osborn and Curt Connors came to greet their class, only to recognize her. Being an orphan and having famous scientist parents who were dead did her no popularity favors.  
> \- Literally everyone loves Peter, and when Liz gives her a chance to shine by dragging her to AcaDec, the other kids are enchanted by her  
> \- Cindy is the first one to try and be her friend  
> \- Peter always feels odd man out in the girls group  
> \- Flash's crew calls her "Pretty" and "Perfect" Parker behind her back because that is how rude males' brains work. As soon as you are out of sight, gone are the insecurities and jealousies that make them nasty, and there are the opinions on your looks as if your brain and personality don't matter.  
> \- That said, bullying does not happen in the stereotypical way of movies. It happens more the way I experienced it. Subtle asshole behaviors a nice, oblivious girl does not realize is bullying until they are trying to find the root of anxiety that is destroying their lives. Oof, sorry for the personal info dump, but now you know.  
> \- So I'm not putting name-calling or locker shoving into this. It's pushing someone aside, but acknowledging them just enough so that they're stuck on the outskirts  
> \- And no, those aren't just girls' cruel games. Trust me.
> 
> \- THERE IS SPIDER-MAN  
> And yes, the sexist assholes still call Peter Spider-Man, who sees this opportunity to hide her identity  
> And also, to use more armor like materials because men don't have a teenage girl's boobs  
> \- The SWM at the end of her username stands for Stark Wilson Murdock, in reference to the men she looks up to post-Ben's death  
> It also, conveniently, stands for Spider-Woman, and makes a funny joke.

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Home sweet home - somebody (@ _PMParkerSWM_ ) is very happy to be home, even if she loved traveling abroad.

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @ _CEOofSIVPPotts_ ☑

@ _hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM_ we are so happy to have you home!

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

@ _hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM_ Now that you are getting settled back in, I think we need to have a talk, Mr. Osborn. Man to man. Not bc my Baby can’t handle herself, but bc I need you to know how well I taught her to take care of herself 😋

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

@ _HelloKittyLuvMe_ We feel like this conversation will require a lawyer…

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

@ _NelsonMurdockLaw_ Yes, you’ll be there as a “lawyer.”

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

@ _H_ _elloKittyLuvMe_ ;-)

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

@ _HelloKittyLuvMe_ @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_ Got room for one more?

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @ _CEOofSIVPPotts_ ☑

@ _HelloKittyLuvMe_ @ _NelsonMurdockLaw @TheTonyStark_ Oh leave the kids alone.

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Time to run and hide, boys, the Lady is in the Lab and she is smarter than all of us combined.

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

 _@hosbornofficial_ _@PMParkerSWM_ for damn sure she is

 **You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Time to show the world what you’ve got, Sweetheart. The old men in suits may not ready, but the rest of us are out her rooting for you to change the world

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @CEOofSIVPPotts ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ You don’t have to change the world, you don’t have to cure cancer. You just need to go out there, show the world what you’ve got, and learn everything that you can, because we are already blessed with your beauty and big heart.

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Sure, we think you should be a lawyer with your research and deductive skills (and _@oKBthatway_ , lawyers make more moola and less enemies than PIs, you know. That would be a firm worth going to, but we respect your autonomy and the brilliance and passion that you have, so go take the world of Science by storm. We’ll be rooting for you and fielding any legal shit that dares to get in your path.

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

It’s now October 1. That means that it is officially Spooky Season. However, the first eight days of Autumn are simply that, Autumn. If it is no longer summer and not yet, October, it is just Autumn. However, it is no longer the end of September, so my beloved _@PMParkerSWM_ pulled out her favorite Spooky Season sweater.

**May Parker** _@MayParkerFromQueens_

OOOOOO _@PMParkerSWM_ , I love the kitties!!! 🥰🥰🥰😻😻😻

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

_@MayParkerFromQueens_ So fluffy!!!

**May Parker** _@MayParkerFromQueens_

_@PMParkerSWM_ And someone has been **properly educated** on the times of year

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

_@MayParkerFromQueens_ More than I can say about SOME people

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

Shots Fired

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

RT

**IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

Who taught you the InTeRnEt?!11///??

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

RT

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

I am a tattletale, so you guys made _@PMParkerSWM_ cry over your stanning her being a strong woman in a field largely dominated by males. But for your viewing pleasure, more Hardworking Business Attire Donned By The Mom Of A Ferocious Kitten. As VP of R&D at Stark Industries, she is working hard to make sure none of the old guys on the board are going to take her as a silly little girl.

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Make them cry

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @CEOofSIVPPotts ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Do this

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Do this

 **Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Do this

 **IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Do this

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ We don’t condone violence, but do this

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ I do condone violence, so do this and if they bother you, let me know 😉

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

This is a reminder to care for yourself! It is perfectly okay to have hobbies outside of your job, even if you love your career more than anything!

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

Thank you for saying this!

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

@ _PMParkerSWM_ You just like… Attract anything under 50 pounds?

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

@ _hosbornofficial_ Called me out first, so I’m here to spill to the Internet that he originally had 20 kilograms written. And yes, he spelled out the whole world.

**Jazzy** _@BluebellJazz_

Still better than Twilight AND 50 Shades of Grey AND Hallmark AND Lifetime put together

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

 _@BluebellJazz_ its not like thats hard

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

It’s date night (she gets cold fast).

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

So I know that Fall is coming to an end and a lot of people are asking about our plans. I’m actually studying abroad (in my home country of the US) from the university I study at internationally (in Paris). Confusing? Yes. But here we are. I will graduate this Spring in Paris, but be back here in time for _@PMParkerSWM_ ’s graduation before we start making plans for the future.

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

Meaning that the author wanted to let the audience know where this story is going. Yes, there was a certain Deal made for me to pass on this message. 😉

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

Wade? Are you okay?

**IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

Y’all two sure do comment on each others’ posts a lot...

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

In case you haven't noticed, we have some mutual interests.

 **You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

Alexa, play “Don’tBe Suspicious” from TikTok

**IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

 _@TheTonyStark_ That is so wrong, why must you be such a Dad.

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Things that are not perfect about @ _PMParkerSWM_.

1\. 

Yeah. I think that about sums it up

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

@ _hosbornofficial_ HOW DARE YOU PUT MORE MUSH ON MY FEED?

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

 _@hosbornofficial_ YES! MORE OF THE MUSH ON MY FEED!

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

Two kinds of people....

**IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

@ _TheTonyStark_ Now you’re getting it!

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

When a night owl gets up with an early bird and is Shocked.

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

How dare you put Labels on time based on YOUR sleeping patterns?! Humans need to get their shit together

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

I’ve figured it out! DP is just here to cause chaos and spark discourse on Harry Osborn’s feed

**Jazzy** _@BluebellJazz_

 _@kendra.zzzs_ its 7am and you never get up at 7am did you go to sleep at all???

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _h_ _osbornofficial_ ☑

To the people who suffer with impaired thermoregulation for whatever reason, _@PMParkerSWM_ has it as well prefers to enjoy the chilling days inside. Also, she colored her hair for reasons I do not know, but she’d look perfect no matter what.

* * *

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

There’s only a month left of the official Autumn season, but Happy Thanksgiving from our family here in New York to the rest of the USA, and Happy Third Thursday of November to the rest of the world on the Gregorian Calendar!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I keep running out of responses.  
> Also, all of the pictures are form Pinterest! I tried to pick ones that had signatures on them or were from Ads.
> 
> Some funny notes about this chapter:  
> \- The Spooky Season is from an argument my little brother started last night.  
> \- My Google History is looking really interesting  
> \- I have this recent addiction to the idea of a friendship between Peter and Kate Bishop (thank deniigiq for it, and please go check out their works!)  
> \- The summary has y'all because I finally added Harley Keener  
> \- I had a rough week guys.


	5. C'est l'hiver!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Tis the season to absolutely love how sweet Harry is to Peter, and even more importantly, to love how adorably sweet Peter is!
> 
> Sorry it's short again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a mention of Avengers, so I added one, but I promise to introduce more (the one thing that I actually did plan outside of the pictures).
> 
> I tried to get reference to Ben's being Jewish and Peter recognizing that as a part of her upbringing, with Harry and Tony recognizing that without invading her privacy. Hence the "Stark December Festival" (Hannukah falls in December this year, but also, Hannukah isn't nearly as large of a deal to those of the Jewish religion as it is to those who are Christian and trying to be inclusive and considerate of Jewish religion, at least according to my few Jewish friends, so I tried to fit this idea in there as a nod to them) and the references to winter and generic holidays. If it offends you, I don't actually care because I am trying, and if you have an interesting critique that you can present as straight up information, I would love to hear it because I love learning as proved by the fact I chose my university and torturing myself over a cheaper and much easier path in film at a trade/vocational school because I wanted to learn more about wildlife (also, females tend to do well in Life Sciences, as opposed to film. There's definitely inequality in Hollywood's behind the scenes).

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

It might not officially be winter, but it sure feels cold enough. 😍

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

 _@hosbornofficial_ Disgusting.

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

 _@hosbornofficial_ Adorable.

 **You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM_ Pretty damn cute.

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @ _C_ _EOofSIVPPotts_ ☑

 _@TheTonyStark_ I’m going to call _@WasCapAmerica_. _@hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM_ very cute though 😊

 **May Parker** _@MayParkerFromQueens_

 _@CEOofSIVPPotts_ We did good with this one.

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

 _@hosbornofficial_ _@PMParkerSWM_ any holiday plans???

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

We both have sweet tooths, but they’re for different sweets 😉 Great time at the Stark December Fair ♥

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ AWWWWWWW

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Have a lovely winter season and great holidays!

**Mike Wasowski** @ _MichaelEBurnz_

 _@hosbornofficial_ When do we get to see her face?

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** @ _NelsonMurdockLaw_

 _@MichaelEBurnz_ How about you respect the right to privacy?

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

School is almost here, and a certain nerd is so excited to go back and finish up her Doctorate. You know, far younger than her peers because she is a Genius. 

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@hosbornofficial @PMParkerSWM_ She outdoes me, and the fact that kids hate school but humans naturally love learning speaks of all its shortcomings and what Stark Industries is invested in fixing.

 **Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

 _@TheTonyStark_ please don’t give _@CEOofSIVPPotts_ more problems. _@PMParkerSWM @hosbornofficial_ and everyone else in any form of school - I know it’s grueling and the setup fails a lot of people, but please enjoy learning because you are an amazing person who can do amazing things with the amazing knowledge we have sequestered over the years.

 **Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

 _@YesICanBeGreen_ You are saying brilliant things, but you used the word ‘amazing’ three times in one sentence; how long has it been since you slept?

 **Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ what day is it?

 **Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

 _@TaserMakesSiblings_ One of your scientists is on the loose again.

**Marcos** @ _iLiveWithHOsborn_

GUESS WhO RANDOMLY DECIDED TO STUDY ABROAD!!!

 **IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

I like school too, but I can’t wait for the Lady of the house to be done so I can keep her genius for me-self and shovel talk the Boy Toy while she obliviously ignores it.

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

 _@MyGarage_ You do realize this is my post and that I can see your comment, right? Also that the Lady of the House can too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the wait, but also I'm not because self-care, school, a paying job, internships, family, accidentally backing into someone's car, and networking are all Important.  
> Also, I am super lonely because I can't get out and make new college friends, my high schools friends have mostly abandoned me, I don't live on campus for reasons called Money, and try as I might making friends through Zoom and online clubs and GroupMes is not effective when you have anxiety, so if you also want to make friends, my email that is available to you folks is utouchmycookie@gmail.com, and I will give it away because it is ninety percent spam anyways.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to start growing up y'all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you decide to do a Twitter fic with pictures - save image addresses in your original writing document. Do not put the pictures in the document, only save ads on Pinterest boards, have them disappear, and abuse the wonders of Google Lens on your phone, only to have thirteen different emails only containing image addresses with small, non-descriptive subject lines about which picture it is...

**H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

We are off to _@TheTonyStark_ ’s birthday, but I thought you guys should be jealous of how adorable my girl is.

**You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM @CEOofSIVPPotts_ and Maguna; thank you, most wonderful ladies in the universe, for such a great birthday. Don’t know what I’d do without all my girls 🥰

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @ _CEOofSIVPPotts_ ☑

 _@TheTonyStark_ we love you too!

 **Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ You looked beautiful and grown up last night

 **You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

 _@PMParkerSWM_ This ^, but maybe a longer dress next time?

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @ _CEOofSIVPPotts_ ☑

 _@TheTonyStark_ She’s definitely old enough to wear a completely appropriate length dress, Tony.

 **You Know** _@TheTonyStark_ ☑

I think Young Mr. Osborn was getting ideas though!

**Abominable DP** @ _HelloKittyLuvMe_

Was he now?

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @ _CEOofSIVPPotts_ ☑

Oh Tony, you even know. 

**Was The Falcon** _@AmCapAmerica_ ☑

Lookin’ good _@PMParkerSWM_ \- even if you are a pain in my neck

**1nouehg2p3rh** @ _fbu38tgo3ibv9u_

 _@PMParkerSWM_ Smart girl, look adorable and no one will realize how dangerous you are. You’d make The Widow proud.

 **d4y9r7fvyu** _@nvh9748y_

I am very proud, and stunned - good job Little One

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

Congrats to Mr. Stark-Potts and Mrs. Potts-Stark; we’re so excited you’ve decided to renew your vows - it means a lot to _@PMParkerSWM_ to be included

**wh4ypr598** _@ncbu9r4gt_

Love the red, Little Secretly Evil One

**SGR** _@WasCapAmerica_ ☑

Buck, she is not evil. You looked beautiful though, @ _PMParkerSWM_ , and congrats to _@TheTonyStarkP_ and _@CEOofSIVPPottsS_ (love that you changed your usernames too, very cute)

 **You Know** _@TheTonyStarkP_ ☑

Of course we did, I want my kids to be involved. All my girls looked amazing, and Harley was dashing. You didn’t look too bad, either, Harold Theopolis.

**Pepper Potts-Stark** @ _CEOofSIVPPottsS_ ☑

Tony! Be nice to Harry! And thank you @ _hosbornofficial_ ; you kids looked amazing and we wish @ _PMParkerSWM_ could have been there for the first wedding. And thank you @ _WasCaptainAmerica_ , we thought so too.

**nfc974** _@nvur39bgrvp_

Red is definitely a good family color :)

 **Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

Thank you, Nat!

 **Was The Falcon** _@AmCapAmerica_ ☑

We do look great in red, don’t we? Congrats Tony and Pepper, and you are still a pain, but you looked so pretty out there @ _PMParkerSWM_

 **IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

No! I did not cry!

 **wh4ypr598** _@ncbu9r4gt_

Suspicious

 **Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

No one said you did???

* * *

 **H. Osborn** @ _hosbornofficial_ ☑

It is officially time to be Adultier Adults! Congrats to @ _PMParkerSWM_ for finishing her Doctorate, and a special thanks to _@CEOofSIVPPottsS_ and _@TheTonyStarkP_ for the graduation gift - I think a new apartment with no rent was a bit over the top, though...

**You Know** _@TheTonyStarkP_ ☑

You have to live somewhere

 **Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

And this way he can continue to be a control freak and overly philanthropic.

 **IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

Just out to call us out, aren’t you?

 **Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

*noncommital shrug*

 **Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

Bruce is my favorite.

 **Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

You’re my favorite too, Sweet Pea

**Marcos** @ _iLiveWithHOsborn_

Oof, rejection to all the male Avengers and Starks and Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the notes, which are probably my favorite part, in case you hadn't noticed.  
> Thank you guys for all the comments! You're too sweet!
> 
> We are almost done and actually? I am kind of sad. Not to worry too much though, because there is a decent chance I will actually be making this into a series of unrelated stories with the simple collection of being Female!Peter!  
> This will blend in with another series I am writing, a bunch of wild stories about Peter Parker and Kate Bishop being vigilante youth best friends and getting up to shenanigans. It will feature a piece called The Feral 'Verse, which I am having wayyyy too much fun writing. Thank deniigiq for inspiring the plot with their "rain city" at this link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22235395/chapters/53093476, and the relationship with their "in technicolor" at this link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16801942/chapters/39436771.
> 
> If you got emails about me updating things other than this chapter, I simply went back and gave Pepper and Bruce verification checkmarks because I am assuming they would be verified but did not think of that earlier.  
> Peter is not because she always forgets about her Twitter.  
> She fails at social media, but is always on her phone playing games and reading. Maybe she writes fanfic, too, because it is canon that Miles Morales, Kamala Khan, and Phil Coulson do. It is heavily implied that Teddy Altman and Billy Kaplan might as well, and possibly Loki.
> 
> Some quick notes about this chapter:  
> \- Tony added a 'P' to his username because I headcanon he took the last name Stark-Potts upon marriage. Similarly, Pepper added an 'S' to hers because she took the name Potts-Stark. Perfectly legal and something I can see them doing.  
> \- Harley is a hot mess.  
> \- The Avengers showed up!  
> \- The spies (Bucky and Natasha) are paranoid, so they use random numbers and letters, make one or two posts, delete the accounts, make all new emails, and do it again. A poor team of suckers at Twitter has been assigned to try and hunt down their accounts and verify them - for the public. They go home wanting to cry almost every night, but get paid a ridiculous amount of money.  
> \- Thor does not care about Twitter.  
> \- Loki has only a Yamblr account. If you want to know what that is, go read Young Avengers Vol. 2.  
> \- Steve does in fact, show aptitude for electronics once they are taught to him.  
> \- The Decimation and Blip did happen, but Tony is alive because I said so.  
> \- There is, in fact, a reason that maturity, growing up, and this continuing relationship keeps being a concern to our characters. Honestly, Tony doesn't know what to think, but big steps are about to happen for our happy ending!


	7. Heureux Pour Toujours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the fluff y'all.
> 
> Time for a Happily Ever After.

**H. Osborn** _@hosbornofficial_ ☑

Happy birthday to _ma Princesse_!

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

I hate the mush, but that is basically a tiara

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

It is so cute but we all know how she reacted

**IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER WITH THE SAME ACTING MISTER

**Pepper Potts-Stark** _@CEOofSIVPPottsS_ ☑

Happy birthday pretty girl!

**You Know** _@TheTonyStarkP_ ☑

Happy Birthday!!!

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** _@NelsonMurdockLaw_

Happy Birthday from our office! Matt is crying about you growing up!

**Abominable DP** _@HelloKittyLuvMe_

I AM TOO

**Was The Falcon** _@AmCapAmerica_ ☑

Happy Birthday, Trouble

**vboerg08** _@74tgiywv89_

Happy Birthday, Evil Child

**SGR** _@WasCapAmerica_ ☑

Buck! She is not evil! But happy birthday, P!

* * *

**H. Osborn** _@hosbornofficial_ ☑

A graduate doesn’t stop learning, good luck to everybody starting school again!

****

* * *

**H. Osborn** _@hosbornofficial_ ☑

I am the luckiest man in the world - I love you _@PMParkerSWM_

**Peter Can Be A Girl’s Name** _@PMParkerSWM_

_@hosbornofficial_ I love you too ❤

**You Know** _@TheTonyStarkP_ ☑

Congrats, Kids!

**Pepper Potts-Stark** _@CEOofSIVPPottsS_ ☑

Congratulations! May you have a long and happy marriage! (Also, Tony cried after Harry asked his blessing and at the proposal)

**Needs Led** _@nlGITC_

I’m so happy for you!

**EmjAY** _@MyJam_

:)

**May Parker** _@MayParkerFromQueens_

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS

**Abominable DP** _@HelloKittyLuvMe_

😭 **❤**

**Hell’s Kitchen Avocados** _@NelsonMurdockLaw_

^

**Mike Wasowski** _@MichaelEBurnz_

Good, put a ring on her. She’ll be a good woman to have at home. Can we get a face reveal now?

**In Love With All The Harry’s** _@ImmaMarryAHarry_

_@MichaelEBurnz_ Can you not?! Also - CONGRATULATIONS

**Hello World** _@kendra.zzzs_

OHMYGOD CONGRATS

**Jazzy** _@BluebellJazz_

I don’t usually care about celeb love lives, but yasssssssss

**imalesbian** _@lesbihonest_

From all the heartbroken girls out here: Congrats

**Marcos** _@iLiveWithHOsborn_

YAS

**IronMan in** _@MyGarage_

_@MercedesBenz_ Look! Another brother!

**Flash** _@FlashMobForSpidey_

Congrats

**nvur9q4t9h** _@bxc7e8r3ygfr8_

Love you, Little One, congratulations. Don’t forget I am the Black Widow for a reason if you ever need me :-) 

**Dr. Banner** _@YesICanBeGreen_ ☑

Congratulations!

**SGR** _@WasCapAmerica_ ☑

Can I be the flower person?

**hf7r3fh79** _@cbyer8tg_

No bc I am, you can carry the rings. Congrats Evil One.

**Was The Falcon** _@AmCapAmerica_ ☑

Congrats Problem!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that the mush is over, go ahead and click on the next part in the series for all your angsty/hurt needs!
> 
> It is NOT a sequel, btw, just another life of another Peter May Parker SWM.

**Author's Note:**

> You guys, formatting this is way harder than I expected. Oh well, it's done.  
> Please let me know if there is anything I need to fix, formatting, grammar, or spelling wise.  
> I know that the style of typing isn't common of Twitter, but also, thinking of my friends who run in the smarty-pants circles that are similar to the ones Peter runs in... I know how they Tweet and text, so anybody from Midtown or the Smart Group will; Tweet/text the way my friends and I do. Normal people will vary, rich people will have decent grammar, especially if they are geniuses, like Tony, because grammar becomes something you can't not do.


End file.
